Change

I'd like to think of myself as someone who deals well with change. Since leaving home at 13, I've had ten different bedrooms not including the ones at my parents'. I started off on a rural farm in West Virginia and now live in one of the busiest cities in the world. I must process change pretty well by now, right? Not exactly. 

My family is going through a time of transition. One of my brothers & his crew are moving to North Carolina. My other brother is expecting a baby any day. My parents' loft is officially on the market. And who knows what's in store for Patrick/me this next year. Heck...even this little blog of mine will be changing soon, too. Both my physical & figurative senses of home are being jolted.

Do you ever wish you could press pause on life's remote? Is it scary for you to think that things might never be like they are in this moment again? How can I look forward to & seek so much change, but also feel uneasy by it? And why did I have a dream about spending Christmas alone in Penn Station?!!

As I contemplate & struggle with interruptions of routine and certainty...and as I fret about the unknown...I will remind myself of the above quote. This is normal. This is natural. This is change.

until next time,

g

Inspiration for Your Week

So much of the typical day-to-day requires you to do things you have to do, things that are not necessarily what you want to be doing. But let's be honest here...if we did what we wanted all day long and approached every day like a vacation day, would we get anything accomplished? (Nope.)

Instead of looking at your workload as something you do just because you're supposed to (that frustrating answer your parents gave you when you asked "why?" for the fourteenth consecutive time), let's acknowledge some of the true reasons that allow that ability (to make yourself do the thing you have to do) to feel satisfying and, well, worth it.

1. Remember the positive results you are seeking and the reasons behind your tasks at hand. For example, you work for at least one of five reasons -- $, to learn, enjoyment, to help others, to advance your career. Focus your attention on that. (If you can't identify with any of those goals, then you need to find a new job.)
2. Make lists. Start every day with a to-do list of things you want to get done that day. Do the things that are hardest first. Finish each day with a to-do list of things you didn't get done and you need to carry over to the next day. And when you complete a task? Cross that sucker off the list. (It feels oh-so-good.)
3. Reward yourself. Work your butt off and then take a vacation, reach a big fitness goal and treat yourself to the new sneakers you've been eyeing, and ultimately? ...reach a place where the outcome of your work is a reward in itself.

...

I also realize that this idea goes beyond the day-to-day and that there are events in life that involve you doing/acting in ways which require you to be the bigger person, not just compared to others, but to yourself. We haveta show up in every way possible and do things when they ought to be done to the best of our ability - and as the above quote suggests, we do them whether we like it or not. So yes, we do them because we're supposed to. "Why?!?", we ask. The real answer lies within our individual values. But often, it's because it's right. We must do, act, make, give, contribute, and work. And we must reflect on and remember why, even if in certain situations it's not as easy to pinpoint.

P.S.  As a sidenote? One of the biggest ironies in life is that if you give more than you take, you actually walk away with more. Here is a text message exchange I had today with someone in my life who epitomizes that very notion.

 I'll admit, I teared up when I read what they did.

It's what made me realize that the whole, "make yourself do...when it ought to be done" thing goes far beyond our workload. 

I hope everyone had a fabulous Monday.

...and may one or both interpretations of the quote be a little inspiration for your week.

until next time,

g

Greetings

Patrick was out of town this past weekend so I had a chance to truly unplug, decompress and catch my breath. Alone time is rare these days living in a jam-packed city and a jam-packed apartment and a jam-packed life. I leave work and I just want to zone out and listen to music and have a leisurely commute home. More often than not? I'm dodging tourists on the sidewalk then I'm squished between the subway pole and a sweaty/smelly person while my heavy purse dents my arm and I nearly suffocate inside my puffer coat. It's a cute look, lemme tell ya. And then I'm either going to the gym and changing in a small/confined locker room filled with one too many nekkid women or I'm going to the grocery store and trying to navigate my way down the narrow aisles that only allow for a one-way flow of traffic... a maddening obstacle for us New Yorkers who always seem to be in a big ol' rush. Once I'm finished with the gym and errands, I walk into a 450sq. foot apartment in which I cohabitate with a giant.

One of the things I've had to work on (and am still working on) in this stage #637 of our relationship ;) is how I act when I walk through the front door. Most nights, Patrick is home before I am...and since I haven't had a moment to myself and since I know I still have plenty more work to get done that night, I walk in with a chip on my shoulder. If I walk into a mess or dirty dishes, I heavy sigh. If he asks me how work was, the gym was, if I saw the funny video of some dog, I sharply retort since I'm still trying to take off my shoes and coat. Why is this? Am I a terrible person? I'm being completely honest over here, but maybe I'm the only one who finds themselves ever behaving like this and you're chalking me up to be some evil witch. Trust me, I wish I could be the person that throws open the door and exclaims with my arms in the air, "Hi, honey!! How ARE you? Tell me everything!" While I realize that might be a stretch, I am trying to improve.

I read something recently that said, "Forget the troubles of your day before you greet someone." (And I was all, write that down.) I think it can happen in various scenarios, too. Like, have you ever met up with a friend and the first thing out of their mouth is one long rant? They stand there complaining, "Ugh you will not BELIEVE my day!" and 30 minutes later they finally say hello? And maybe ask how YOU are? It's a little off-putting.

In an effort to recognize ways in which I can self-improve, I am going to try and remember that sentiment above whenever I'm greeting someone...whether it's on the phone, in person, and particularly, when I walk through that front door. Even if it requires me to walk around the block once more or stand on my stoop and take a deep breath, I gotta dismiss those silly troubles of my day before I say hello :)

until next time,

g

Inspiration for Your Week

via

My mother, who is somehow still able to parent & teach from a distance, emailed this article from MORE Magazine to my siblings & I yesterday. I want to hang it on my inspiration board and store it away in a mental box of advice & wisdom. It's by Patti Davis (the daughter of Ronald Reagan and Nancy Davis Reagan). Perhaps you'll like it, too.

"I'm living in a house that will soon not be mine. When I leased this Victorian two years ago, I imagined someday buying it. But after getting to know the place intimately, I decided it would not be a good marriage. The floor plan is choppy, not meant for socializing. The kitchen is far from the dining room and each of the two "parlors" can accommodate one person and a cat as long as neither is overweight.

As soon as my lease was up, the landlords informed they were going to sell. I couldn't afford to move right then, so I made a deal. They could revamp the house while I was still in it; I'd stay and even put up with showings when it went on the market.

The other day I was weeding the garden, and one of the handymen asked me why I bothered. I told him, "I don't want it choked with weeds."

I won't be living here anymore, so who cares how I leave the place? But what remains after we settle elsewhere reveals much about us. It shows how caring we are or how careless. Those who leave weeds and rubble in their wake probably do the same in relationships. Long ago, in another house I moved into, I unlocked the door to find mouse droppings in the kitchen, a bathroom that had apparently not been cleaned for months and windows so dirty, I could barely see out. I was casually acquainted with the couple who had preceded me and from then on, whenever I ran into them, all I could think of was the dirt they had left for me to clean up.

As Rickie Lee Jones sang, "You never know when you are making a memory."

Maybe that's why I prune the bushes and plant lobelia in a garden that soon won't be mine. Lobelia can sprout unexpectedly. After a season or two, it just appears, like a gift. What we plant takes root, produces seeds, and blooms not just for us but also for whoever comes after us.

I sit in this garden at end of day, after the handymen have gone and quiet descends. I listen to birds perched high in trees that someone else planted. I spent months transforming this garden, thinking I'd stay forever. I put in lavender, daylilies and jasmine. It's May and all are blooming.

A few friends have told me I made a bad deal with my landlords. And in a way they're right. But I'm learning a precious lesson in these inconvenient months. I'm learning how, at age 60, to become the person I want to leave behind on this earth."

until next time,

g

Dream Big

 

I wear a thin gold bracelet that says this quote and it always makes me think. It's not as simple as the notion of, "love what you do." You first have to identify what you love. And then you have to think about what you find beautiful about what you love. Finally, you have to ask yourself if you're actually adding to what you love....to its beauty...by doing and making more of it.

 

My ultimate goal in this little life is that I make this world better by having lived.  While I don't plan on being the first female president or curing cancer or preventing world hunger, I do want to have some sort of impact. I should mention here that I tend to dream on the bigger side. Almost to a fault. Yep, my parents raised a Jessica.

 

For so long, our goals are standard and often expected... make it through elementary school, then the awk-y middle school years, push through high school, then graduate college and/or get a job. But what about after that? It's all up to us. We are adults, anyway. (shudder) Someone once said, "Don't let your dreams always be dreams." ...which is inspiring but also quite scary, yes? If you're like me, you might carry around a mental list of things you hope to accomplish someday - so, someone reminding you that someday has the chance of never being today unless you get-on-that-shiz ASAP is a tad discomforting... especially when you allow yourself to acknowledge how quickly the months and years pass by. It's outrageous, really. I got my 10-year high school reunion save-the-date in the mail recently and stood in my kitchen staring at it, certain that the school had made a giant mistake.  I had one of those bizarre moments comparable to fogetting how to spell a word like, 'who' where I questioned whether or not the same amount of time passes between the ages 10 to 20 and 17 to 27. And it took an embarrasingly long time to figure out the answer to that oh-so-difficult question. So like, what gives? It's as if time only speeds up as we age and the calendar only becomes more packed of things to remember and juggle. Granted, I have a wizard for a mother; she accomplishes more productive/good/selfless/fun things in a day than most do in a month so perhaps as a result, my bar is set at impossible. Even so, I find myself tripping over (ha! even happens when I'm just figuratively speaking) those bigger dreams of mine just because I don't know where to even begin nor where to find the time. So what do I do? Well, I have an idea...

 

Instead of carrying around these mental dreams, I'm going to first write them down. Sounds easy, but it's actually pretty terrifying and makes me uncomfortable. But if I've learned anything, it's the uncomfortable setting that typically promotes change and pushes you to be a better version of yourself. Plus, I need to see these things-I-wanna-do on paper since I have a feeling the list might be long and I will need to do some prioritizing. The next thing to do is to separate your dreams by category -- for example: fitness, personal, finances, career, something you want to do for others, geographical location, etc. Thirdly? I'm going to put them in chronological order of when I would like (key word being like, since we all know things can happen differently than how we plan) to accomplish them. Some will be easier than others. For example, if you really want to write an autobiography, perhaps you can push that to the end of your list for when you know how your life turns out :)  Within each list, break down the bigger dreams into smaller & more obtainable goals, paying the most attention to the ones you would like to accomplish first. For example, if you're wanting a certain job, but you realize you're going to need a few more years of school, start by identifying the application timelines/guidelines and examining your financial situation. Think about reaching your weekly needs instead of the daunting desire of going from your current state to your end goal. Focus on the month-to-month and the goals you want to accomplish in the next two years, but also look back at your list to see where you want to be in 5 and 10 years. (Yes, this is my plan to make a plan.)

 

Perhaps this rant has been a waste of your time and you stopped reading when I used the term shiz above. Perhaps you've already accomplished big things in your career and personal life and you're at a place of contentment. Or perhaps you're struggling to translate your bigger dreams into a plan of attack and something here resonated with you. (Or maybe this was just a pep talk between me & myself.) Regardless, I'd like to think that when I'm standing in my kitchen one day (oh, how I hope it's a bigger kitchen!) staring at my 20-year high school reunion save-the-date, I will have a similar reaction of wondering how the heck it's been another decade. But here's hopin' I will also be able to look back to now and be like yes! I got something done in those 10 years I decided to.

 

until next time,

 

g

Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron, the Oscar-nominated screenwriter, filmmaker, director, producer, novelist, playwright, journalist, author, blogger, and one of my biggest inspirations, died yesterday at age 71 after a battle with leukemia.

via

You probably know Ephron from her movies: When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seatle, Michael, You've Got Mail, Julie & Julia, etc.

What you might not know:

• After graduating from Wellesley, she interned in the White House of the President John F. Kennedy.
• Her first job in NYC was a mail girl for Newsweek.
• She & her sister wrote the incredible play, Love, Loss, & What I Wore. It has a rotating cast and I've maybe seen it three times. :)
• She wrote books: I Feel Bad About My Neck, Wallflower at the Orgy, I Remember Nothing (in which she hints about her illness), and more.
• Tom Hanks is due to make his Broadway debut in January in Ephron's Lucky Guy. (Let's all go!)

In an effort to celebrate such a beloved writer and person, 

let's take a look at some of my favorite Nora Ephron quotes. ::

“Here are some questions I am constantly noodling over: Do you splurge or do you hoard? Do you live every day as if it's your last, or do you save your money on the chance you'll live twenty more years? Is life too short, or is it going to be too long? Do you work as hard as you can, or do you slow down to smell the roses? And where do carbohydrates fit into all this? Are we really all going to spend our last years avoiding bread, especially now that bread in American is so unbelievable delicious? And what about chocolate?”

“Whenever you give up an apartment in New York and move to another city, New York turns into the worst version of itself. Someone I know once wisely said that the expression "It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there" is completely wrong where New York is concerned; the opposite is true. New York is a very livable city. But when you move away and become a vistor, the city seems to turn against you. It's much more expensive (because you need to eat all your meals out and pay for a place to sleep) and much more unfriendly. Things change in New York; things change all the time. You don't mind this when you live here; when you live here, it's part of the caffeinated romance to this city that never sleeps. But when you move away, your experience change as a betrayal. You walk up Third Avenue planning to buy a brownie at a bakery you've always been loyal to, and the bakery's gone. Your dry cleaner move to Florida; your dentist retires; the lady who made the pies on West Fourth Street vanishes; the maitre d' at P.J. Clarke's quits, and you realize you're going to have to start from scratch tipping your way into the heart of the cold, chic young woman now at the down. You've turned your back from only a moment, and suddenly everything's different. You were an insider, a native, a subway traveler, a purveyor of inside tips into the good stuff, and now you're just another frequent flyer, stuck in a taxi on Grand Central Parkway as you wing in and out of La Guardia. Meanwhile, you rad that Manhattan rents are going up, they're climbing higher, they're reached the stratosphere. It seems that the moment you left town, they put a wall around the place, and you will never manage to vault over it and get back into the city again.”

“There is something called the rapture of the deep, and it refers to what happens when a deep-sea diver spends too much time at the bottom of the ocean and can't tell which way is up. When he surfaces, he's liable to have a condition called the bends, where the body can't adapt to the oxygen levels in the atmosphere. All of this happens to me when I surface from a great book.”

“I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

“I live in New York City. I could never live anywhere else. The events of September 11 forced me to confront the fact that no matter what, I live here and always will. One of my favorite things about New York is that you can pick up the phone and order anything and someone will deliver it to you. Once I lived for a year in another city, and almost every waking hour of my life was spent going to stores, buying things, loading them into the car, bringing them home, unloading them, and carrying them into the house. How anyone gets anything done in these places is a mystery to me.”

“I don't think any day is worth living without thinking about what you're going to eat next at all times.”

“…the amount of maintenance involving hair is genuinely overwhelming. Sometimes I think that not having to worry about your hair anymore is the secret upside of death.”

“Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.”

“I look out the window and I see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world's greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance.”

“And then the dreams break into a million tiny pieces. The dream dies. Which leaves you with a choice: you can settle for reality, or you can go off, like a fool, and dream another dream.”

"The best thing about a pedicure is that most of the year, from September to May to be exact, no one except your loved one knows if you have had one. The second best thing about a pedicure is that while you're having your feet done, you have the use of your hands and can easily read or even talk on a cell phone. The third best thing about a pedicure is that when it's over, your feet really do look adorable. The worst thing about pedicures is that they take way too much time and then, just when you think you're done, you have to wait for your toenails to dry. It takes almost as long for your toenails to dry as it does to have a pedicure. So there you sit, for what seems like an eternity, and finally you can't stand waiting one more minute so you gently slip on your sandals and leave and on the way home you absolutely ruin the polish on your big toe and since your big toe is really the only thing anyone notices as far as your feet are concerned, you might as well not have had a pedicure in the first place."

“Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.”

“When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

"I'm sorry to report that I have an Aruba. My Aruba is named after the Caribbean island of Aruba, where the winds blow so strong that all the little trees on it are blown sideways in one direction. But my Aruba is not an island. It's the thing that's happening with my hair, on the crown of my head, in the back. My cowlicks have won, and they are all blown sideways, leaving a little bare space."
 
“Beware of men who cry. It's true that men who cry are sensitive to and in touch with feelings, but the only feelings they tend to be sensitive to and in touch with are their own.”

“Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic."

“I'll have what she's having.”

"One of my biggest regrets -- bigger even than not buying the apartment on East Seventy-fifth Street, bigger even than my worst romantic catastrophe -- is that I didn't spend my youth staring lovingly at my neck."
 
"I hate my purse. I absolutely hate it. If you're one of those women who think there's something great about purses, don't even bother reading this because there will be nothing here for you. This is for women who hate their purses, who are bad at purses, who understand that their purses are reflections of negligent housekeeping, hopeless disorganization, a chronic inability to throw anything away, an an ongoing failure to handle the obligations of a demanding and difficult accessory (the obligation, for example, that it should in some way match what you're wearing). This is for women whose purses are a morass of loose Tic Tacs, solitary Advils, lipsticks without tops, ChapSticks of unkown vintage, little bits of tobacco even though there has been no smoking going on for at least ten years, tampons that have come loose from their wrappings, English coins from a trip to London last October, boarding passes from long-forgotten airplane trips, hotel keys from God-knows-what hotel, leaky ballpoint pens, Kleenexes that either have or have not been used but there's no way to be sure one way or another, scratched eyeglasses, an old tea bag, several crumpled personal checks that have come loose from the checkbook and are covered with smudge marks, and an unprotected toothbrush that looks as if it has been used to polish silver. This is for women who in mid-July realize they still haven't bought a summer purse or who in midwinter are still carrying around a straw bag. This is for women who find it appalling that a purse might cost five or six hundred dollars - never mind that top-of-the-line thing called a Birkin bag that costs ten thousand dollars, not that it's relevant  because you can't even get on the waiting list for one. On the waiting list! For a purse! For a ten-thousand-dollar purse that will end up full of old Tic-Tacs!"
 
"People who run four miles a day and eat only nuts and berries drop dead. People who drink a quart of whiskey and smoke two packs of cigarettes a day drop dead. You are suddenly in a lottery, the ultimate game of chance, and someday your luck will run out."
 
"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”
 
"What I will miss
My kids
Nick
Spring
Fall
Waffles
The concept of waffles
Bacon
A walk in the park
The idea of a walk in the park
The park
Shakespeare in the Park
The bed
Reading in bed
Fireworks
Laughs
The view out the window
Twinkle lights
Butter
Dinner at home just the two of us
Dinner with friends
Dinner with friends in cities where none of us lives
Paris
Next year in Istanbul
Pride and Prejudice
The Christmas tree
Thanksgiving dinner
One for the table
The dogwood
Taking a bath
Coming over the bridge to Manhattan
Pie"

To read her commencement speech at Wellesley to the 1996 graduates - click here.

Stars remember her here.

until next time,

g

25 Rules for Life

...
I found this list of 25 Rules for Life profoundly inspiring and after a few tweaks,
I decided to share it with you today.
...

1. When everyone else throws in the towel, find a way. Always find a way. That will put you in the minority. The successful minority. Be creative, be tenacious, be diligent, and do what most won't.

2. Finish what you start. Many of us are great at starting, crappy at finishing. Doesn't matter how smart you are or how much potential / talent you have if you only ever half-do stuff. Success is less about talent and potential, and more about commitment.

3. Make the tough decisions. Most people would rather someone or something else make the tough decision for them. The biggest determinant of what our life will look like is the decisions we make (and don't make!). It ain't fate, chance, or luck - it's all you.

4. Don't b.s. yourself. Be honest. You're an idiot at times. And a baby. You know it. We all are. This admission is not to be confused with senselessly beating yourself up, no, this is about honest self-assessment and a level of self-awareness that most people will never have. Your biggest challenge will always be you. Maximize your strengths and develop your weaknesses.

5. Nurture and develop the spiritual you. This means different things to different people. It might add that dimension to your life that you've been lacking. After all, you're more than a body and a mind, right?

6. Maximize your potential. Too many people die with their music still in them. The main reason for this is fear. Deal with your fear (and laziness and procrastination) or waste your talent and live a life of compromise.

7. Stop waiting for success to fall on your head. Too many people have a "lotto" mentality; they hope that success will happen to them.  They wait to be discovered or for their big break. Good luck with that. Get off your butt and create your own big break. Look for and create your own opportunities.

8. Hang out with high-achievers and avoid energy vampires. You will inevitably emulate the people with whom you surround yourself.

9. Be in shape physically. This is not about vanity or ego. This is about function and health. This is about maximizing your potential. If you're out of shape physically, it will impact negatively in every area of your life: relationships, career, finances, emotional state, & mindset.

10. Change what you can and don't fret about what you can't. Too many people invest way too much emotional energy in things they can't change and way too little in the things they can and should. And in doing so, all they do is put themselves in a bad place emotionally.

11. Don't be a critic. You've got enough of your own issues and weaknesses to work on. People who constantly criticize others are typically insecure, envious, and resentful.

12. Don't make excuses, make plans. Stop talking and act.

13. Become a master communicator. In terms of "life skills", this is at the top of the list. Consciously and diligently work at becoming the most effective communicator you can be. It impacts every area of our life. Consciously build and nurture great relationships in all areas of your life.

14. Invest into others in a practical way. Be generous with your time, your knowledge, your skills, your money, and your love. The best return on investment has nothing to do with money.

15. Be completely responsible and accountable for where you are, who you are, and what you are. Even if you have a reason to blame - don't. It serves no purpose.

16. Control your emotions, especially anger and fear. When we act out of fear and/or anger we hurt others and ourselves.

17. Trust and respect those who have earned it. This doesn't mean be paranoid and fearful of those you don't know well, it means what it says. Automatically trusting and respecting people is a recipe for disaster.

18. Don't base your expectations for your future on your past. Too many people are hostages to their crappy past, so they simply create a crappy future. That's what they expect. Our history is not necessarily any indication of what our future could be.

19. Expose yourself to different ideas, cultures, places, environments, and people. Often. It's crucial for your development. Too many people live in their safe, little box for eighty years and then they die. Sad.

20. Get uncomfortable on a regular basis. Take risks. Physically, emotionally, psychologically and professionally. It's how we grow, learn, adapt, change, improve. "Safe" is boring and unrewarding.

21. Laugh loud and often. If you're not having fun, if you're not happy, try plan B. Too many long faces these days.

22. Get clarity and certainty about what you want and don't want in your life. And then start building it. Stop waiting for some cosmic sign, start thinking for yourself and creating some momentum. Stop letting others tell you what to do with your life.

23. Don't spend your life waiting for the "right time." It's a myth. If you're breathing, it's the right time. This doesn't mean be irresponsible or stupid, it means don't waste years waiting for the planets to align perfectly. The "right time" excuse is merely a form of procrastination.

24. Find the good. Consider every day an opportunity to live, laugh, learn, and love. While many walk around with the world on their shoulders, choose to be different. Choose to be the exception. Choose fun. Choose to find the lesson. Choose happiness. Choose to be that person.

25. Humility. Live and communicate with drive, passion, and humility. Arrogance and ego are ugly and destructive. Humility - not to be confused with weakness.

until next time,

g

7 Things for Your Day

#1 quotes to live by.

#2 you need this album.

(if you don't already have it)

image via

It was released in the fall, but the deluxe version was released yesterday

and includes five bonus songs. check it.

#3 Have you flipped through 

Matchbook Mag's May issue?

No? click here.

#4 An adorable video my bf found.

poor thing just wants to hold his hand!

#5 What May's little lady (Bethenny Frankel!)

keeps in her purse on date night.

I actually saw her husband leaving her book signing last night.

A cute one, that Mr. Hoppy!

#6 fun DIY projects

organization for hair products // 10 bracelets you can make // chalkboard vases.

#7 shopping finds

zebra scarf // heart pants // pretty gold sandals.

have a fabulous day!

until next time,

g

Things Every Woman Should Have & Know by 30

After reading Lauren Conrad's interview in this month's Glamour (a good one), I flipped to a new spread titled,"30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30."

Glamour columnist, Pamela Redmond Satran, wrote this list in 1997 and yet it still applies and resonates today. I have a few years left before I hit the big 3-0, but I can still very much appreciate and admire these goals. I'm happy to see that I can already cross some off the list...while some suggestions still need work (i.e. things I should have...hello, numero dos!). Perhaps you've read this list before? If not, enjoy...

By 30, you should have:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.

2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.

5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.

8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.

9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.

10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.

11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.

13. The belief that you deserve it.

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.

2. How you feel about having kids.

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother, and the best tailor in town.

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.

8. How to take control of your own birthday.

9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.

11.What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

15. Why they say life begins at 30.

What about you, ladies? How is your own list going? Would you add anything?

until next time,

g

Here's to Steve

a must-watch if you haven't already:

Steve Jobs

1955-2011

"Stay hungry. Stay foolish."

Here's to Steve, the Mac Daddy.

until next time,

g

The Wise Dr. Seuss

The Wise Dr. Seuss by ihartvirginia featuring gold tone jewelry

Oprah

This is a litho print I did in a summer class many years ago. (I made the paper from cotton pulp, that's my own image I printed from a stone slab, and I sewed and bound the book by hand. It was a neat project!) And yes, it's hard to see/tell, but that's supposed to be Gandalf talking to Oprah. Long story.

Did you miss the Oprah finale? Click here to watch clips.

"Because that is what a calling is, it lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing...Live from the heart of yourself...Know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world....In every way - in every day, you are showing people exactly who you are, you're letting your life speak for you. And when you do that, you will receive in direct proportion to how you give..."

until next time,

g

Graduation Speech(es)

It's that time of year. Graduation-time. 

Cue Vitamin C's "Graduation (Friends Forever)".

I have relatives graduating from both high school and college this year and it baffles me to think that a. my cousins and niece are that old and b. it's been four years since I sported a cap and gown. Strangely, my life has drastically changed every four years of my life for as long as I can remember. It's been an underlying ebb and flow, if you will. I have absolutely no idea, however, what the next four years will bring. As I said in my high school graduation speech, "I feel as if this is a conclusion to a chapter in our lives. The exciting part, however, is not knowing what will appear on the next page." Thank you, younger version of myself. It is exciting when a blank page awaits, when anything can happen.

Before I became the little lady in the big apple, I was a "littler" lady in Virginia. I moved here as Virginia from Virginia who went to the University of.... yep.  During my college graduation at UVA, I was fortunate to hear John Grisham speak; I stumbled upon his final address and I thought I'd share. His advice is inspiring, regardless of where you find yourself in your individual chapters.

Finals Address

University of Virginia

by

John Grisham

May 20, 2007

image via

"Thank you, Tom Farrell, for those kind words and thanks to the Board of Visitors, to Dr. Casteen, to Leonard Sandridge and the administration, to the faculty and to the students for the invitation to be here. I am honored to be here to address the Class of 2007.

To the graduates, congratulations upon this day. Your talent and perseverance have brought you to this milestone and you are to be commended for it. Your families and friends are here, and they are very proud. Savor the moment. Savor this day because it cannot be repeated.

Some of you are sad to be leaving; others are downright giddy at the thought of getting out of here. Regardless of how you feel now, over the years, your emotional attachment to this place will only deepen and you will find yourselves drawn back many times. You are fortunate to have studied here. We are blessed with a lot of great universities in this country, but few can match the history and tradition and prestige and beauty and setting of the University of Virginia. You are indeed fortunate.

In the past 15 years, I have been privileged to deliver a few college commencement speeches. And each time I accept an invitation I always ask the school to go to the archives and research some stuff for me and to give me the record for the shortest commencement speech at that particular school. Then during commencement I announce what the record is and then promise to break it. This goes over really well. It always gets a lot of applause, and I’m proud to say I hold a number of records for brevity.

However, at the University of Virginia, such records are not kept. I inquired. I pushed pretty hard. A thorough search was conducted, but simply for some reason these records do not exist. It’s obviously a breakdown somewhere in the administration. And, by now, the buck has been passed back all the way to Mr. Jefferson himself. As we know, that happens all the time around here.

But don’t worry. I don’t take that as a license to speak for an hour. I don’t like long speeches. I know you are not in the mood for one. So whatever the record is here today, there will be a new one tomorrow, I guess.

Commencement speeches are usually full of wisdom and advice, and no speech is ever complete without the platitudes, such as, “The future is yours, and the world is at your feet.” I don’t give advice. If I had more time, I might fall into that trap and say such important things. But I really don’t give advice. It’s easy to give. It’s easy to digest, but rarely is it followed.

I used to give a speech that I called, “The Top 10 Reasons You Should Stay in College Until You Are 30 Years Old.” It was always well received. It was humorous. It had a touch of wisdom to it. But I stopped giving it because no one’s listening. Let’s face it, you’re done. You’re finished. You’re out of here. You can’t wait to start your careers, and that’s the way it should be. Plus, the hate mail from the parents had gotten really ugly, so I stopped that speech.

What I’m going to do is pass along three lessons I have learned in the past 30 years. I hope I’ve learned more than three things, but I’m just going to share three with you. These are not connected. They are totally random. But sadly, that’s the way I think.

Thirty years ago this week, I graduated from college, Class of 1977. I don’t recall much about my commencement. I do remember that the speaker was dull and long-winded, and he did inform us that the future was ours and the world was at our feet. I do remember sitting through my commencement being pretty smug: I was graduating from college; I had been accepted to law school; and I knew exactly what I was going to do. I was going to study tax law. I wanted to be a tax lawyer because I was convinced I could make a lot of money representing wealthy people who did not want to pay all their taxes. That was my dream, and I had it all planned. I knew the day I was going to start law school, the day I was going to finish. I had a pretty good idea where my office was going to be. It was all planned.

I don’t know where this idea came from. I did not like tax law. I sure didn’t know any wealthy people. Looking back, I cannot begin to remember where this idea was planted, but that was my dream. I had everything planned. The idea of writing a book had never crossed my mind. I had never written anything that had not been required by school. I had never dreamed of it.

Lesson No. 1: You cannot plan the rest of your life.

We love to plan things. In our culture, it’s all plans. It’s all written down— our daily calendars, our monthly planners. We put all this stuff in our laptops and our Smartphones and our BlackBerries. We plan everything. We waste so much time making plans, and the plans don’t work because life has other plans.

John Lennon said, “Life is what happens while you’re making all of those plans.” Think about today and tomorrow and next week, maybe. Have a goal. Don’t confuse planning with dreaming. Dreaming is a worthy pastime. Planning is a waste.

The Class of 1977 survived Vietnam. We grew up with Vietnam. At first we were good patriots, and we were told it was a just war and we believed that. As we grew older, we grew to fear it. As we got closer to the draft age, we really began to fear this war. And then we grew to hate it as it dragged on for 10 years and tore our country apart. Every member of the Class of 1977 knew someone — a cousin, a kid down the street, the quarterback on our high school football team three years older — we all knew someone who went to Vietnam and came home in a box, 58,000 boxes. We were told it was necessary to protect our interests. We were told that we had to attack communism before it found us. We were told we were winning and winning and winning and more troops were needed. As the war dragged on and grew worse, so did the lying.

Lesson No. 2: When politicians get the itch to go to war, don’t believe much of what they say.

During our freshman year in college, a truly unique and traumatic and frightening event happened in our country — oil was embargoed for the first time. For a nation addicted to cheap gasoline, we couldn’t get it. Service stations had limited supplies or none. There was rationing, long lines to get to the stations, hot tempers, folks were furious. The refineries had nothing to refine. The reserves were empty. The nation panicked. It was very frightening. For the next three years in college we listened to these fierce debates about cutting off our dependence on foreign oil, creating a sensible energy policy, developing alternative fuels, conservation, conservation. The same rhetoric that we hear today, except this was long before we ever heard the term “global warming.”

Lesson No. 3: Your generation must have the courage to save the environment because
prior generations did not.

Enough of this depressing stuff — I kind of want to end on a light note. The challenge facing any commencement speaker is to say something that you, the graduates, might remember for more than 24 hours. It sounds easy, but it is rarely accomplished. But as I was looking for new ideas, I came across something I think is pretty interesting. This is what I want you to remember come Tuesday.

If we can believe statistics, and I really don’t because I am always reminded of Mark Twain who said there are three kinds of lies — lies, damn lies, and statistics. But we love numbers. We love polls and surveys and studies and all these things that supposedly tell us a lot about ourselves. Since I need a few numbers today, I’m going to go ahead and use them.

There are little over 5,900 degrees being conferred today, so let’s say there are 6,000 of you in the Class of 2007. According to a survey, a study somebody did, out of a class this size, 42 of you will one day give a college commencement speech. Don’t look around. I’m talking to you. Do you know who you are? Some of you are no doubt planning your speech already. Who are you?

I’ve got some more research. I was curious about the other folks who are sharing this honor this spring, the other commencement speakers around the country, and I found a list of them online. It’s a long list, and it’s a fairly impressive list, for the most part, with a few exceptions. A few schools seem a little desperate for speakers. Some would say U.Va., but we won’t go there.

Who are these people? I thought if we looked at the list it might help us identify the 42 out here. There are a few factors. First of all, gender is totally irrelevant: the list is half male, half female. Age is not important: the youngest commencement speaker I found this year is 28 years old and the oldest is 80. Fame is not that big of a deal: I recognized about half of the names on the list. Wealth is not a huge factor. Sure, there are some billionaires, but far more educators, historians, researchers, diplomats, scientists. But if you want to be guaranteed a spot at the podium, give your old school about $100 million and they will be happy to let you speak as long as you want to speak. The list includes Ph.D.’s and drop-outs, judges and ex-cons, ministers and atheists, former presidents and many, many who want to be. It has the usual array of actors and rock stars and athletes and journalists and authors and talking heads. The bottom line is the list is as diverse as you are. Right now, each of you has an equal chance. Right now, the playing field is completely level.

I’m not suggesting that giving a college commencement speech is the pinnacle of a career or the barometer of success or even a worthy goal. I’m not suggesting that.

I read the bios of a lot of these people who are the spring 2007 lineup of commencement speakers, and I was looking for some common traits, common ground. Why are these people thought of enough to be invited? I found three things, three factors that they all share.

The first is talent. I don’t mean a big IQ or the ability to win prestigious awards or set records or create masterpieces, not that kind of talent. Talent is the ability to discover what you do well and to want to do it every day. Find something you love and you’re never going to have to work. The people on this list don’t punch a clock. They don’t long for the weekends. They don’t dread Monday mornings. They’re not planning retirement. They do what they love and they go about with great enthusiasm. Each of you has a talent. Some of you may already know what it is and that’s great. For most of you, it’ll take some time. Ten years passed from my commencement in 1977 until the night I sat down with a legal pad and wrote the first sentence of the first piece of fiction I ever tried. You all have talent.

The second factor is perseverance — not just the ability to work with great determination, but more importantly, the ability to handle rejection. Your ideas are going to be laughed at; your papers are going to be trashed; your designs are going to be dismissed. But you cannot quit. In this country, we still love the underdog. We love the story of the disabled person who was told that she couldn’t do it or the immigrant without a dime or the kid from the wrong part of town. All these people have talent and dreams and perseverance, and they succeed. In this country those dreams come true every day.

The third factor is the least important. It’s luck, something you can’t always control. Not necessarily blind luck but more importantly the ability to spot an opportunity that you weren’t looking for. If you have the talent and perseverance, the luck will take care of itself.

I’m not sure that my statistics, as shaky as they are, really apply to this university. We moved here 13 years ago and discovered this place, and we’re never going to leave. We love Charlottesville. One of the great things about living here is we get to meet a lot of students. I’ve always been impressed with your talent, your hard work and, most importantly, your determination to make the world a better place. I suspect that for a class like this, the number of 42 is very low.

For those of us who live here, our lives are very much intertwined with yours and the University’s. You’re everywhere. We bump into you. You take over the town when you come to town. We see you everywhere. You arrive in late August as freshmen with nerves on the edge, emotions barely under control, SUVs stuffed with more junk than anybody could possibly need.

Around here as locals, the most important day of the year is not the first football game. I’m not even sure it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas. It’s the first day the freshman move in. We all know that. It’s circled on our calendars. Many of us simply leave town. Everybody else goes inside and locks the door. Suddenly, there’s traffic, and there’s a real element of danger on the streets. The restaurants are full. The parking lots are full. The town comes to life and so do we. Our lives have been enriched by you. Through your arts, through your plays and concerts and exhibits, we are exposed to new ideas, new interpretations, new expressions. Through your athletics, we are treated to great competition in a variety of sports. There’s always a game in this town. And for the big games, we are always inspired by your raucous enthusiasm. What big football game wouldn’t be complete without your orange face paint and semi-nude bodies.

You have kept us younger, thank you. But now, you guys have to leave. You can’t stay here until you’re 30. Life doesn’t work that way. In about three months, August 25 to be exact, the freshmen are coming to replace you. You have to leave now. You have been superbly educated. Go forth and start working on your speeches."

Novelist John Grisham is the acknowledged master of the legal thriller. A graduate of Mississippi State University who received his law degree from the University of Mississippi, Grisham has written 18 novels, nine of which have been turned into films.


until next time,

g

Cell Phone Radiation

I made the switch from BlackBerry to iPhone on Verizon this weekend. There were many motivating factors behind this change including a free upgrade, lower monthly bill, the convenience of syncing it to other Apple products in my life, finally giving in to the persuasion attempts of my dad & brothers, and it looked - well - fun!

The deciding moment? When I uploaded Little Lady, Big Apple on the store's sample phone and could actually read it! Despite still learning how to properly type (You'd think it be easy since my hands stopped growing after the age of 7. Seriously. I win the tiniest hands award. Hands down. Ha!), I am, indeed, having fun. I've discovered apps that help me navigate NYC's subway system, that allow me to log my health & exercise, take Polaroid-esque photos that develop once I blow on the screen (!), and I can even scan products' barcodes to compare prices and determine where they are sold locally and online. I'm sure this is all old news to iPhone owners, but this little lady is still very excited.

Cell phones are, in fact, our generation's toy. I feel as if the question of whether the device can actually make a phone call is an afterthought when wanting to know a phone's capabilities. We want messaging, internet, cameras, games, music, calendars, weather updates, endless supply of applications.

And to ya know, call somebody.

I, like many people, use my cell phone as my alarm clock. I hate to admit it, but I feel naked if I don't have my phone with me. Between my phone and my planner, I feel somewhat together. Without? Completely and utterly lost. I read an article recently in Time, however, that has convinced me to rethink my bond with my cell phone.

"For the past several years, a small band of doctors and activists have been raising concerns about the possible connection between cell phone use and brain cancer. The cell phone industry — along with nearly all major national and international medical associations — have always responded with the same answer: there's no evidence that cell phone radiation can even affect the brain, let alone cause cancer. Well, given the results of a new study published in the Feb. 23 Journal of the American Medical Association, at least one of those arguments may be put to rest. Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, found that a cell phone's electromagnetic field can indeed cause changes in brain activity, with the regions closest to the antenna showing higher rates of energy consumption. Important note: this does not demonstrate that cell phone use can lead to cancer. Volkow showed only that changes in brain activity occurred because of cell phone radiation — not whether the changes were good, bad or neutral. But this is the first study to show conclusively that cell phone radiation, even in short durations, does something to the brain. That's enough to worry many people, especially parents of young children — kids have thinner skulls, and their brains can absorb higher levels of radiation. The good news is that there are simple ways to reduce your exposure to cell phone radiation without going back to the paper cup-and-string method of telecommunication. Here are five easy steps you can take.

1. Use a Wire Headset
This is the simplest and most effective way to keep the radiation away from your head. A wired headset keeps the antenna far away from your skull, allowing you to use your phone without worrying that you might be cooking your brain. A Bluetooth wireless headset will also reduce your exposure somewhat, but you'll still be absorbing some radiation. Most decent earbuds that you'd use to listen to your iPhone or other music-playing handset will also include a microphone for speaking.

2. Text 
The kids already know this: actually using a cell phone to talk is so 20th century. A Pew Research report from 2010 found that kids aged 12 to 17 sent and received an average of 50 texts a day, while fielding just five calls. Two-thirds said they were more likely to text their friends than call. (In fact, just about the only people teens are actually talking to on the phone are their parents.) Texting keeps the handset away from the brain, reducing the risk from any radiation.

3. Don't Use Your Cell Phone as an Alarm Clock
This one is a no-brainer — or at least it should be. If you use your phone as your wake-up call, you'll likely need to keep it close to your head, perhaps on a night table next to your bed. There's still radiation emitting from the phone even when it's not taking calls, so that could mean many extra hours of your brain being bathed in electromagnetic waves at night. Just get a real alarm clock.

4. Don't Carry Your Cell Phone in Your Pocket
 It's not just brain cancer that worries some doctors. There's also some preliminary research to indicate that men who carry a phone in their pocket all day or clip it to a belt pocket could be putting their fertility at risk. By the same token, women who carry their phones in their bra could be increasing their risk of breast cancer. If possible, keep the phone on your desk or a table when you're not using it, just to be safe. And carry it around in a bag or in your coat rather than in a pants or shirt pocket.

5. Use a Radiation Blocking Case
The good people at Pong Research offer a case for iPhones and BlackBerrys that they say can reduce cell phone radiation by two-thirds. Sounds a little fishy, but in an independent test witnessed by Wired magazine in 2009, the claims checked out."

 (To read the article, click here.)

Well, I don't have to break any habits of carrying my phone in my bra (???), but I have picked a new resting spot for my phone while I sleep. And as I discovered this morning, sitting up and reaching far away to turn off an alarm might be just what I need to stop snoozing so much. Yes, I confess. I have tiny hands and I am a chronic snoozer.

I have a really cool phone, though. We're just creating a little distance in our relationship.

until next time,


g